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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Day 7 of the lemon tree thorn accident. That tree should be weaponised, finger is still blistering.

    It’d be completely demoralising.

    There you are standing in the field, bombs going off left right. Tinnitus drowning out the aural horror… Then some fuck comes at you brandishing a lemon tree branch. You need to think quickly, this is life or death. First thought is what type of lemon… Meyer? With those sweet floral undertones… Lisbon? How thick is the pith? Would it make good limoncello? Are they really worth $1.19ea at woolies?

    Before you can appraise the lemon and with various recipes flashing before your eyes it’s too late. You’ve been struck!

    You return to base, seemingly with a minor injury. Your comrades laughing at you… but over the next few days their laughter subsides into deep pity watching you try and delicately put your right shoe on without using your normal finger.


  • There is a ghost on my stovetop.

    Some oven dude came out to fix a burner a few days ago. He fixed the burner, but fucked another burner and igniter (sparky things).

    On two of the burners, when you turn it down, then back up, all the igniters start sparking and doesn’t stop. Very odd. turns out if one igniter isn’t sparking, they all spark as a safety thing so there’s no explosion.

    Took some methylated spirits to the sparky things which helped but the big trick was re-sparking, so when they all start going off, just push one of the burners’ dial and it stops. Never seen that before.

    Oven dude was gonna hit me for a few hundred just to have another look even though he didn’t do it right.

    So, happy to get it going again without any more hassle.

    Fuck that oven guy though.


  • All those cold swims paid off last night.

    I’m in a house built in 1910 with no insulation, sisalation etc. Slept with the windows open and felt nothing.

    Would’ve burned through a lot of previous midnight snacks it’s basically cheating.

    So in this weather we switch from steamed dims sims to deep fried dim sims because it’d be a health hazard if the blood wasn’t loaded up with stuff to burn.

    So the science is true: Get in cold water = can deep fry shit.